The Introvert trapped Inside an Extrovert

Real Woman

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 13:36:33 GMT

Once again I have neglected to update this journal just as, once again, I have opened a journal entry whineing about it.

Pressing on, the end of another year is nigh and I suppose at 20 minutes to midnight on another Monday in December there is naught else to do but reflect on times passed. Was the year well spent? Do I feel somehow older, bolder and wiser? Did I achieve my goals and learn from my mistakes? I think so.

I can certainly say that spending 2009 as a 25 year old has been my most maturely spent year thus far. As obvious as that may sound, I suppose it is the acknowledgement and perhaps even appreciation and acceptance of adulthood that has finally sunk in and bit by bit, I am finally coming to terms with who I am as a person.

Which begs the question - do all humans have to go through the same stages of initiation into adulthood where they finally grow into themselves and develop into their own person? I understand one must cross the Abyss to know what lies beyond, but surely not everybody out there has to go through the banal procedures called 'growing up'? Because essentially, we all ask the same questions - ponder about the same selfish thoughts and seek the same answers - and yet, us humans so desperately attempt to cling to the hope that we are 'individual' and 'unique' - what a load of shit.

I am not bitter. And I'm not angry. Even though I feel I come across that way - I'm not. I enjoy life and living, and most of all - I am happy. I have always attempted to maintain a positive attitude (bar teenage angst stage of course) because without a good outlook on life, what's the point? Depressed and moody is far too limiting for my agenda and besides, one gains more out of life if they at least give the impression they are content and confident than one who appears bitter and desperate.

I've recently taken to inspiration from Freddie Mercury - the man was a genius. I've been watching him in interviews on Youtube and he was just so fucking true to himself. He didn't have anything to prove to anyone but the ultimate judge - himself. Such a quality is so admirable and yet so lacking in individual's today. Amongst others; Gary Busey, Bruce Robinson, Wendy O Williams and some of my friends.

So - back to the point; I guess this was the year I finally grew up. No turning back now. No more relying on youthful dreams or excuses - this is the real deal now. I'm an independent, responsible and self-accountable fully grown woman now. Wow. A woman. I think that's the first time I've actually acknowledged that.

I think I've become more accepting, or more tolerant anyway - I realize there isn't much point in having anxiety attacks over situations where one must be pro-active instead. I've become more calm in my dealings with people - I think I have learnt that with people, less is more. One thing I'm still working on is my awful habit of finding it necessary to fill awkward silences (or even potentially awkward silences) by talking - sometimes talking shit, sometimes talking about myself (usually something self-deprecating so it lightens to mood) or just making up some story. This is something I should add to my New Year Resolution list...if I had one.

All in all - it's been a bloody big year. The trip to America. The redundancy from work. Working for a drug paraphernalia company. Moving to Canberra. Preparing for next years travels. Potentially not moving to Europe if I am successful in gaining employment for a local television network.

And yet there's still this void somewhere deep within the depths of my being. Ahh - the trials and tribulations of growing up, I hear my reader say - but is this really part of growing up? Do I really have to read this in 10 years time and chuckle at myself? Show this to a few of my friends over a few glasses of wine and chortle at the growing pains of the me in the past? What if this feeling doesn't subside? What if I'm as unsure about who I could be then as I am now? Do we then quantify it as 'depression' and prescribe some pills, instead of perhaps addressing the fact the maybe this is just the way I am? Am I?

Then again, I've been listening to some sad tunes tonight so no doubt that has somehow affected my mood.

Soundtrack for the night of 28th of December 2009 (songs played repeatedly/repetitively) :

Queen - 'One Year of Love'
Santo & Johnny - 'Sleepwalk' (Jesus this is a sad song)
Jimi Hendrix - 'All Along the Watchtower' (not sad, but mood-setting)
Blue Oyster Cult - 'I Love the Night'
Lustmord - 'Immersion'

And thus concludes tonight's rendition of yet another scattered entry - time to watch a documentary on Bible-bashin' kiddie camps.

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 12:20:00 GMT

I want my cake, and I want to eat it too!

Hahahaha

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:22:43 GMT

I'm living in Canberra.

I don't have a job.

I don't have a home.

Virtually my entire life is in my car.

I have no money.

I have 7 months left until Europe.

I haven't organised my visa/study for Europe.

I feel like I could cry my heart out.

Other times I can't help but smile.

I've learnt who my real friends are.

Det Som Engang Var

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:55:08 GMT

You think everything is running smoothly, until you get that phone call...

Oh gods...where do I begin?

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:10:10 GMT

I suppose I'm being punished with ill-structured memories and scattered thoughts for neglecting to update my Journal.

Dot points really do seem like the most efficient option for documenting the last few months but I can't help but feel as though I'm cheating all the time. Ah, bugger it:

* Purchased new laptop which is shitting me to tears

* Operation on nose to repair deviated septum ( I can breathe!)

* Travelled to Newcastle to spend 4 days on the coast with a friend - fishing from a boat, attending a gig, photography

* Started a new pilates fitness regime - doing at least one hour of pilates everyday at K's house

* Purchased tickets to fly to Europe mid-next year

* B lost his job, but found a new one which is infinately more suited to his person

* Work have realised I am not a complete idiot and are giving me more and more responsibilities by the day - I am now responsible for the Online Sales department

* Cornbread howling on heat and pissing on my pillow

* Cornbread getting desexed

* Strange propositions

* Having the time of my life

* 'Withnail & I' - best thing to have ever happened to me

Again, I declare with absolute sincerity, that the best decision I ever made was quitting my job. I have never felt more free and so in control of my life as I do now - and I'm not really even doing anything!

Too much life. Too little time!

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 09:46:56 GMT

I've had the last month free from work, and I certainly have no regrets. One of the best decisions I ever made.

I have since started a Fantasy novel series 'A Song of Fire and Ice' by George R.R. Martin and it is the most addictive book I have read in my life.

Started a casual job in a warehouse, working under a great friend K - so basically all we do is listen to metal all day whilst I pick and pack bongs, cone pieces, lighters and any other related smoking paraphernalia anyone could possibly dream of.

Ironically enough, when I was in high school I promised myself I would never touch a bong again - how utterly hilarious.

Brooklyn, New York

Fri, 15 May 2009 18:33:59 GMT

I'm alive.

The plane trip over here was absolutely terrible! Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever experienced. Ever.

13 hours from Sydney to Los Angeles...with only TWO crappy meals! Cramped seats. Sitting behind 2 fat pricks leaning back into their seats.

ANYWAYS, I'll get to the other stuff........I'm too hung over to try and blog properly here.

Day 1 in NYC: Walked around Greenpoint. Went to Williamsburg and got quite the culture shock upon discovering we were the only non-Hebrew people in the suburb. Everything was Jewish! No English. No normal clothes. Buses. Shops. Food. Children. Women. Then walk a couple streets further and it's like that world didn't even exist.
Found Academy Records and purchased Venom 'Irish Assault' demo LP and a Witchfynde LP.

Day 2 Went to the Fulton Street Museum which is in the Financial district of Manhattan and saw the 'Bodies' exhibition. It was ok. Not enough of the female anatomy, which is far more interesting - but it was cool to inspect the different stages of fetal growth. After this we went on a Sea Taxi for a tour on the Hudson river- we checked out Manhattan island and the Statue of Liberty.

Then we got drunk. Ridiculously drunk. At the Charleston bar...great music. Mercyful Fate, Slayer, Master's Hammer, Van Halen were all playing - it was great.

I skipped a day. I think this is Day 4 right?

Can't think. Will update later. Probably still drunk.

Adios Australios!

Wed, 06 May 2009 06:17:49 GMT

I'm going to America in 4 days time. I don't know what to expect. I don't even know what not to expect.

Actually, to be honest - I'm more frightened about crashing in the plane en route to Los Angeles than anything else. Why is it I always associate flying in planes with dying? The slightest bit of turbulence is enough to gripe me in such anxiety and fear that I tremble for the next hour or so. Am I that much of a control freak that I actually can't handle being put in a situation beyond my control? Is the fact that my life is completely dependent on the skills and abilities of another really worth spending a 21 hour flight in sheer terror? Am I completely irrational in not acknowledging the laws of physics and understanding that turbulence is caused by the plane flying through pockets of air?
Yes to all of the above.

So, aside from the fact that I'm going to die on the way there, let's focus on what I would have been doing...had I not died.

* Plane flies direct from Melbourne to Los Angeles (14 fucking hours in claustrophobic mayhem)
* Land in Los Angeles - stay in plane - fly direct to New York City
* Land at JFK Airport
* Go to hostel in Brooklyn for first half
* Go to hostel in uppwer west NYC for second half
* Hang out in New York City for 18 days
* Go to Baltimore
* Visit Edgar Allan Poe's Grave
* Maryland Deathfest
* Go back to New York
* Fly to L.A.
* Fly back to Melbourne

Assuming I was alive to enjoy any of the above, I have strict criteria for my "must do" list which includes:

* Eating a bagel
* Eating a hot dog from a hotdog stand
* Drinking coffee from a "diner"
* Going into "Wal-Mart" or something of the ilk, and inspecting all the goods
* Going into a supermarket and inspecting all the food
* Eating the most debaucherous junk-food money can buy
* Not leaving a "tip" (and observing the consequences)

That's all I can think of in my current disheveled state...I'm sure much more will be added to it in the future. Not that it matters anyway. I'm going to die over the Pacific Ocean only for my mortal remains to be found 100 years from now - mummified in fear. Jesus christs - why did I die so young? I haven't even updated my will recently...I was too young to go. So much to live for! So much to give!

...I'm really going to have to organise some valium.

Redundancy cont'd.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:53:24 GMT

After receiving an estimate of my redundancy payout total, I've decided to request an offer.

$30,000 later and out of a job by June 12th 2009 - anxiety and excitement awaits...!

Profound statement

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 05:30:51 GMT

"Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle"

- Marilyn Monroe

Muuuuch better

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 03:20:06 GMT

I just heard that the Redundancy payout will not be taxed, only the Annual Leave payout will be! That makes a massive difference!

And who would have thought that Grandmother isn't disapproving as much as initially expected? In fact, she actually hasn't said it's a bad idea...which essentially means she's not opposed to it.

The Voluntary Redundancy...

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 02:11:22 GMT

Opportunity has finally reared its shy face and I am currently dealing with a tempting risk/dilemma/conundrum.

Work has offered a Voluntary Redundancy package to employee's - and it is quite generous, to say the least. Basically the package includes 7 months wages, plus Annual Leave payout, plus pro-rata Long Service Leave and any other entitlements (which apparently will include a 5 week notice period).

7 months wages in one big hit! Admittedly, the tax taken out will probably be nasty but I'm assured that I can claim most of it back at tax time.

Things to consider:

I'm buying a one-way ticket to Europe in June this year
I will be leaving for Europe March next year
7 months from the end of May = November
November to March = 3 months
I would be without an income (from employment) for 3 months
Global financial crisis
Difficulties in finding work
I do not intend on developing a career in Australia during this phase of my life
Difficulties in finding work in Europe
Exchange rate from AUD to EU/POUND

Aside from the usual hesitations such as future job security, i.e. if shit hits the fan in Europe and I can't find a job - I would return to Australia without a secure job and in the midst of an unemployment crisis!

Obviously the family doesn't approve of the idea - they are set in their Draconian ways of job security and setting myself up for retirement etc - and of course I can see their point. The notion of future career developments, job satisfaction and security are alien concepts to me - I don't really think, at least at this point in time, that I'm ready to commit my current life to all the things I'm supposed to do.

After all, wasn't it but a few posts/months ago where I was whingeing about social compliance? Wasn't it me who wrote a diatribe about not wanting to subscribe to an allegedly pre-destined fate set by my predecessors and 'society'? Don't I want to challenge and break the rules of social conformity and get out of the comfort zone?

It's just so strange that finally, after willing this destiny upon myself for quite some time that it should present itself in such a rude and abrupt fashion. I'm an adult now, and it's decision making time.

Weaving fates...

Gah!

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:17:37 GMT

Why is it that Depeche Mode are promoting a 'Tour of the Universe' yet fail to include the Southern Hemisphere of the Earth?

No, I didn't die...

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:52:00 GMT

But I successfully made it to DAY SEVEN before, of course, something went wrong.

On Day SIX (being Saturday) I genuinely didn't feel like drinking the juice - I simply was not hungry and my stomach did not seem to want anything in it.

To prove to myself how dedicated and strong my will-power was, I actually spent the day watching other people eat and...get this,
cooking for them! On Saturday morning, B and I walked over to the best little cafe around the corner from my house and I bought him breakfast, then made him eat another meal on behalf of me. I sat there, grimacing over the smells, whilst drinking my water. Later that afternoon I was cooking a BBQ for friends which included sausages, steaks and chicken. The smells and temptations were rabid however I resisted and soldiered on.

But of course when it comes to 'cheating the system' - one must consider the consequences. When attempting to take short cuts against the anatomy and physiological needs - unfortunately, at this point in time, I did not win. Having had nothing in my stomach whatsoever for the entire week, then not consuming the drink/juice on Saturday (with the exception of the other rancid drink)- I went to bed feeling a little worse for wear that night.

Come Sunday morning I was not feeling good at all. After I managed to gather the energy to go to the toilet, I found myself dizzy and being unable to see properly on my way back to bed. Once I finally made it, I fell into my bed absolutely exhausted and my heart felt as if it was going to jump out of my throat.

It's hard to describe how I felt; like I was suddenly hit with a nasty flu and my body did not know how to cope. Fucking ghastly feeling. I couldn't even read the time properly on my phone. I think I just lay in bed for a few hours falling in and out of consciousness when I received a call from J & B to come over. After an aeon or two I mustered up the energy to get out of bed but as soon as my feet touched the floor I collapsed to the ground - not good. My heart was beating like crazy, I was seeing weird spots and colours and I wasn't entirely sure if I was awake or not.

I got into the shower - that didn't last very long with the dizzy spells increasing. Managed to crash back into my room and had to lay in bed for half an hour to recouperate the energy used from standing in the shower. I'm not sure how, but I drove over to J & B's and by the time I crashed on their couch my heartbeat was out of control! B got really scared and demanded I eat something immediately. I ate a peanut butter sandwich.

And here I am today - on the DAY TEN day that I was actually supposed to finish. I'm really dissapointed that I didn't make it thus far - but apparently my blood sugar and blod pressure levels were dangerously low and I really should have drunk the drink on Saturday. My body had nothing to run off so it went into shut-down mode...I never want to be there again.

Would I do it again? Yeah, I will. As much as I hated it - I feel fantastic now. Plus I'm eating extremely well. I've only eaten out once - but everything else has been uber-healthy.

The peanut butter sandwich was really awkward to eat. My mouth/jaw had seemingly forgotten how to chew and it actually hurt using my facial muscles!

DAY FOUR: The Beast Within

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:21:54 GMT

Last night's Salt Water Flush was diabolical! It was extremely hard trying to finish the Foul Broth of Hades, and I almost drank the whole amount until I could physically drink no more. Luckily I didn't vomit but if I had let myself, I probably would.

About an hour after drinking the muck Bittles and I decided to put on a movie and as I anticipated, the thunder from down under stormed in much rowdier fashion than hoped. I had to run to the toilet (which in B's long house is a far distance away from the bedroom) and only just made it to the toilet in time. Without getting too explicit, an accurate depiction would be that it felt like it rained out of my arsehole. Like some little troll was heaving bucket upon bucket of the liquid at such a rate it actually sounded like a heavily running tap...Mein gott!

So for the next hour or so, Brittles had to put up with my constantly pausing the movie and running down the hallway. I think after the third time I came back to the room everything started spinning; I felt absolutely ghastly and became suddenly extremely hot - so much so, that I removed all my clothing and was still sweating! Mind you, it was a relatively cold night and prior to my first toilet escapade I was under the covers complaining about the cold - which I am sensitive to anyway.

So, after feeling like absolute death - to the point where I felt I couldn't drive my car back home - I lay in bed next to Bravo shaking from head to toe and experiencing some of the worst physical feelings ever. Br reckons it was just all the toxins going wild in my body likening my symptoms to his after Bowen therapy.

Today was going o.k. until the last half hour. I've been to the toilet twice within 15 minutes and both times I eliminated some truly abominable waste. Feeling the need to go again! And no Broth of Hades - my insides are coming undone...

Cleanliness is next to Godliness!

A favourite quote

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:27:32 GMT

'In selfish men caution is as secure an armour for their foes as for themselves'
- Bram Stoker's Dracula

DAY THREE: Food flushes

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 03:13:09 GMT

I am not hungry...I just crave and dearly miss eating! Oh the sweet contentment from biting down into a sandwich! The serotonin and endorphine rush from tasting the delicious...such unappreciated, neglected experiences!

To you, dear food, I do pledge to appreciate and enjoy thee more fully from next Wednesday forth. I will love thee, cherish thee and spend more time to learn about and make the most out of thee.

At this point in time I am comically incompetent in trying to see the benefits of the de-tox. But at least I'm up to Stage 2 which is supposed to be one of the worst parts of the de-tox. Apparently day 3 and day 5 or 6 are the most testing.

When I woke up I was OK, and the thought of food didn't even enter my mind until around lunch-time when my body realised it wasn't getting its habitual fix for the day.

Last nights Salt Water Flush wasn't as extreme as I expected it to be. This could be due to my lack of drinking the laxative tea which, if not consumed, does not provide maximum results (or 'elimination') for the Salt Water Flush. Felt ill, went to the toilet a few times but nothing too dramatic. At least nothing like Monday night's undertakings anyway...

Beginning to feel like my organs are working as I'm getting weird chills all over and my breath stinks! Begone rotten toxins!

Day TWO: Oh Bowels Defiled!

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:58:13 GMT

I would like to suggest to anyone reading this to never, EVER induce the foul drink of Hades (a.k.a. Salt Water Flush) before bed. After an hour and a half of inducing this devilish concoction I didn't think anything was going to happen (this can be normal for the first time) and went to bed.

Alas, my friends, this was not to be the peaceful sleep I expected when I lay to rest my poor little head...

After what seemed a very short amount of time I awoke abruptly near shitting myself, and by the time I got to the W.C. I was already dribbling down my leg! Highly not recommended for the faint hearted. I went to the toilet another 2 to 3 times butI don't think I 'elminated' everything I was supposed to as sleep won the war to dominate my consciousness - so I think there will be hell to pay when I drink the muck just after work tonight.

DAY ONE: Master Cleanse Diet

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 01:09:06 GMT

No! I am not doing on a diet to lose weight! I know I don't need to blah blah blah - I'm doing it purely as a cheaper alternative to Colonic Irrigation (which I'm still very keen on doing but at $76 per session for 3 sessions within 2 weeks is too much for me at this point in time...especially now since I'm saving for a new and improved trip).

Basically for the next 10 days I will consume nothing other than the following:

Laxative Tea before sleep
A litre of warm water with 2 tablespoons of diluted Organic Sea Salt in the morning
Throughout the day drink a drink consisting of the following:
Organic Lemon, Organic Maple Syrup & Cayenne Pepper

For 10 days!

Oh - and on a lighter note, we booked tickets to America on the weekend. Spending 20 days in New York (New York!) then going to Baltimore for the Maryland Deathfest, then going home!

I can't believe I joined a TRAVEL FRIEND website (since promptly deleted)

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:42:13 GMT

am / We are a:	Female
Age:	25
Race:	Caucasian / White

Children:	0
Religion:	I'll tell you later
Drinking:	Socially
Smoking:	I'll tell you later
Food:	Other
Wants to Travel to:	Europe
Wants to Travel Within the Next:	1 - 6 Months
Languages:	English (Fluent) Other (Fluent)
Interests:	Astrology / New Age Music - Anything with a heart-beat Singing / Playing Instrument
Eye Color:	Green
Hair Color:	Brown
Body Type:	Average/Slim
Height:	5'10" - (178 cm)

General Information

I will be going to Heavy Metal festivals so if you're not
interested, don't bother reading.
First of all; I can't believe I'm actually signing myself up to one of these
things...BUT let me explain myself...recently I've had an
epiphany and realised that the only way to change and get
out of the stagnation of my current life is to buy a one-way
ticket overseas.

Unfortunately, at this point in time it
seems everyone I know has their lives sorted and doesn't
share my needs, and whilst I usually wouldn't have any
qualms travelling on my own - given the current political
climate I would rather some company (if not for
safety reasons alone). I can take care of myself; I don't
whinge or complain as I accept responsibility for my actions
and expect that things will always happen beyond my
control.

I suppose one might consider me pertaining to an
'alternate lifestyle' as I am NOT interested in popular
culture, popular music or pretty much anything to do with
fun-times mainstream society unless it's on a social or
academic level.

Without intending to make myself sound
like the complete anti-thesis to mainstream culture, I am
actually very open-minded, welcoming to new ideas and
discussion and always ready for a laugh. I would consider
myself a fun person to be with, and travel
with.

Travelled to: U.K., France, Germany, Holland, Czech
Republic, Poland and various states/cities around
Australia.

Looking for

You could have the exact opposite interests and
we could still get along like a house-on-fire granted you
have the same attitude as me:
* No bullshit
* Open-mind
* Fun-loving
* Outgoing
* Intelligent
* Street-smart

Uncannily

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:58:22 GMT

Last week I took carer's leave to spend time with and look after the family in ye Olde Canty town. Nothing particularly exciting or interesting to report. Uncle came down and we took father to the neurologist to discuss his condition. The doctor said we need to keep father's brain ticking, so asking him questions and getting him involved in discussion, reading, television and going out are some methods to employ in order to keep him brain stimulated.

It's so weird seeing a former genius not even remember what day it is any more. He's not bad to the point where he doesn't remember his own name or can't maintain conversation - it's just his short-term memory has completed deteriorated and is beyond repair. The doctor said that in exercising his brain we are pro-longing any further deterioration, otherwise things will fall downhill at a rapid rate.

Another person has moved into the household, and within 2 weeks of living with us his beloved dog was hit by a car and died. What annoyed me was his persistence in asking me to 'cast some spell' to make her better when she was at the vet. Considering I have never told him, or anyone who needn't know, of involvement to do with anything of the sort; I am slightly agitated that he must have entered my room when I was not home and made an assumption based on my property. The assumption is not the point in question, but rather that my privacy has been violated and the sanctity of my bedroom is not as secure as I would like it to be. Needless to say, I did not assist him with his request.

A few weeks ago Broko and myself attended a Lodge meeting at some strange restaurant inner city. The purpose of the dinner was to meet new candidates and have an overall catch up with everyone since we haven't really had any action over the X-mas period. It was great to see everyone again, become acquianted with some new people (one of which I do not feel is ready) and get to know persons I never really spoke to before. As the night progressed, Brosko and I ended up spending hours chatting with one who works in the Physics industry - and the conversation was getting exceptionally deep. We were touching subjects extending beyond quantum physics, the nature of reality as we know it and the mercurial nature of human concepts, ideals and fears. My only regret of the night was that I didn't bring along some sort of recording device because our conversations surpassed any of my previous attempts at philosphy - seldom have I been speechless before and this was one occassion where I just had to shut my mouth and sit for a while in an attempt to fathom said topics.

More anxious than usual.

Europe PT 2

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 08:05:27 GMT

Again from an email...

So I'm in Münich now...and it's quite fantastic. It's hard to summarise the last week (or has it been 2 weeks?) as so much has happened...

I'm also quite tired and delirious so if this email doesn't make much sense, you have been forewarned...

Paris:

So. I take back my initial (biased) opinion on Paris and the French. I admit, initially I imagined Paris to be an over exaggeratted place with a bunch of arrogant people and a big metal pole. But alas; I stand corrected (at least on 2 of the points). The place is actually quite beautiful. It really did exceed and surpass any and all expectations beyond belief. Now that I think about it, it may be because I wasn't expecting much in the first place that I found it such a shock...regardless, it is still beautiful.

Everybody there was so well dressed. I can understand why Paris is deemed the hub of fashion. Though as I'm sure one would appreciate, Bronk and myself looked like quite the outsider with our fashion Faux pas outfits. Jeans and a t-shirt really don't cut it in a place like Paris as everybody sits in their slick Parisian cafe's, drinking their latte's and eyeing off the outfit of each passer by. It's actually quite amusing to see how their people-watching habit has affected the positioning of their table and chairs. All out-door seats in Parisian cafe's/restaurants/bars are directed outward towards the road or path. Anybody who's anybody will get scrutinized...but don't worry, the people watchers wouldn't dare give you the satisfaction of knowing they were checking you out - it's down to an art form.

And yes, I had my French bakery treat and holy sh*t did it hit the spot. The standard and quality of food in Europe is not one to be compared to Australian. Every single place we have eaten at since we landed here (minus one place in London) has been diabolically delicious.

We did encounter some difficulty with the French in that most of them do not really appreciate non-French speaking people. As I attempted to communicate with a woman in a boutique Chocolate shop she nearly bit my head off because I didn't know she was asking me if I wanted an ICE COLD drink as opposed to a semi-cold one. She pretty much threw the chocolate in a bag and shoved the drink in my face before storming off. And then in a bakery as I was waiting patiently behind the counter to be served, the shop assistant noticed my big backpack and proceeded to ignore me and serve people around me. I was really impressed with that one, and don't worry - I let her know what I thought with my tourist tantrum.

However we did encounter some nice Parisians. One lady pretty much saved us 2 hours of walking by helping us buy our metro train tickets after NOONE would provide us with assistance. We managed to figure the system out after that point, but without her help we would have been screwed.

And of course, just my luck - the exhibition we wanted to see - sorry, the exhibition which was the ONLY reason we were going to Paris in the first place - had finished a week before our arrival. I was quite crushed at that. Luckily the other art exhibition/display was still on...but it was only half as satisfying to see ( I snuck my camera in and got a few shots).

We met up with my darling ex-team leader Chris and spent the day walking around enjoying Paris with her. After we said our goodbye's, Broski and I thought it would be a good idea to spend the night at the Paris airport considering we had to check in our flight to Berlin at 5am. Not such a good idea...we did the sleep in the airport thing, which apparently is quite a common practice... now the seats we found were reasonably comfortable and one could probably sleep on them, however this absolutely delightful woman decided to sleep right beside us (and about 3 other people) and yes, she fell asleep perfectly...in fact, she fell asleep so perfectly she decided to snore her f'cking head off the entire time. No matter how much myself, Bronki or the other people attempted to rouse her - it was in vain. She would quieten down for about 2 minutes and then the chainsaw massacre of thunder would start again. It got to the point where all we could do was laugh in deliriousness. Needless to say we arrived in Berlin a lot worse for wear...

Berlin:

We arrived at our Hostel at about 10am, only to be informed our rooms wouldn't be available until 3pm. Great. Not only had we had no sleep for the last 24 hours, but we would have to endure another 6 or so in the lobby of a hostel. The people were really accommodating and permitted us to lounge like slobs on their couches...they even fed us Watermelon (I think out of pity).

Once we got our rooms, we dumped our crap and headed off to a metal bar which was down the road. We had a few brews there then headed back to the hostel (which, might I add was absolutely immaculate) and slept like babies until 12 noon the next day.

I must confess - I didn't give Berlin the chance I apparently should have. According to everyone else in the world Berlin is an excellent city which has a LOT of stuff to do; we must of been on the wrong end of town because I thought it was quite boring.

Berlin wasn't a priority anyway as the only reason we stopped there was the metal festival being held on the outskirts of the city.

The festival:

Let's just say there was a lot of alcohol, pork, forrests, metal and beer involved...It was truley disgusting. Great time.

Berlin:

Due to the severe hang-over, we missed the last train out of Berlin to Prague. We had to stay the night in Berlin again and stayed in a hotel across the road. I think the guy felt sorry for us (we really were a sight for sore eyes...and that expression is meant in the bad way) and gave us a penthouse room for a budget price which was really great - even though all we did was sleep.

Prague:

Prague absolutely exceeded my expectations. I couldn't believe the size of it. It is MASSIVE! I think in terms of architecture/beauty it puts up strong competition against Paris, which is certainly not something I was expecting. I really liked the city however it has sold its soul to tourism. Nearly every second shop is a tourist shop selling the same merchandise as the other.

Regardless, I'd recommend people go...and probably within the next 10 years, because from what I've been told in the next 10 years or so it is going to be the most expensive city in Europe. Not so cheap right now anyway...not in comparison to what it was 8 years ago apparently. We ate and drank lots there. Again, greaaaat food.

We took a bus out to Kutna Hora which is where the infamous Bone Chapel (Ossuary) exists and I'll let the photo's speak for that place. It was marvellous! I wanted to spend more time there but our tour did not permit this and we only had 15 minutes to marvel in the 40,000 human skeletons which make up the interior of the chapel. My favourite was the chandellier made out of skulls, jaws and arm bones - total work of art. Long story short: after the Black Plague, there were a lot of dead bodies buried amongst the area and as the land was later used for mining, the Mayor had commissioned an artist to commemorate the memory of the dead by assembling their bones in the chapel. The artists theme was the "reminder of death"...but that's about as much of a history lesson I bother to give right now.

Aside from that - I think that was the major touristy thing we really did. We walked around Prague mostly - checked out St Charle's Bridge, Prague Castle etc...we had no luck finding any Eastern European metal records. I had to make do with a Fields of the Nephilim LP which cost me about $10AU - pretty sweet. The postage to send the records to Australia, however, was not so sweet.

We also saw a Salvador Dali exhibition which was pretty friggin' great. His art is quite remarkable and I have been a fan of his for a long time and to be able to stand centimetres away from his work was quite surreal. Got sneaky photo's there too.

Blah Blah Blah...and now we're in Münich. It's been the first day we've had to walk around and explore. We went on some crappy hour long bus tour which showed us some of the sights...that was ok I suppose.

Oh yeah - we went to the Deutches museum today as we expected to see a museum consisting of the history of science and technology through the ages. The way the museum is advertised certainly does not equate to what it actually is...or rather it does, but in a VERY literal sense. We walked from room to room which comprised of the wonders of marine, aero-nautical and rail history. We ended up laughing our way through the exhibits as they were SO boring. An engineering nerds utopia...but not really rivetting stuff, unless looking at the magic of drilling machines through the ages really does it for you.

I think the only fun thing about the place was the ride outside of it.

Anyways...we're both really tired. I haven't been able to sleep properly since Berlin either due to uncomfortable beds or loud/drunk/annoying neighbours...you really do learn to appreciate the beauty of your own bed.

We are probably going to go to the Bavarian mountains or the Daschau concentration camp tomorrow. I'm not too sure. We're here until...Tuesday, I think and then we're heading to rural Germany for another 2 day metal festival which will be excellent as it mostly consists of excellent bands. More debauchery ahead...

It's 22:49 here and Brokso is making the most of being in the Beer capital of Germany. I figured I needed to document our travels so far as too much stuff is happening for me to remember it all. I've neglected to mention a lot of things but these are the main points.

The (European) Trip

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 08:03:11 GMT

Much delayed post - but just copied and pasted an email sent to a friend:

Wow...what a friggin' nightmare we've encountered the last few days.

First of all: we missed the flight to Europe. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...you've just read that. WE MISSED OUR F*CKING FLIGHT TO EUROPE.

Really long story short - our ticket states that our plane leaves Melbourne 12:05am on the 25th. So...on the 25th at about 11pm we rock up to the airport expecting to be getting on plane when they inform us that we were 12 hours too late. Get it? The 25th starts after 11:59pm on the 24th - the plane we were trying to board was the 5 past 12am flight on the 26th.

I don't really want to have to explain any further as I'm currently still a little shaken from the whole ordeal, but just so you know - it's been an absolute nightmare since we missed that flight.

We had to wait around Melbourne airport for the next 8 hours, trying to get the 7am flight on stand by. We didn't get that flight - they told us to hang around until the 2:40pm flight and try and get on that. Problem is, they had severely overbooked the seating and we were looking at a wait of at LEAST 9 cancellations before us...

So we hung around until 2, and we got on. BLISS! Of course, I lose my mobile phone in MELBOURNE airport whilst walking on to the plane. I had it two seconds before they announced us to board, but then it was gone. So don't try contacting my phone. Email will have to do for now.

Once we landed in Hong Kong - we went on Stand By for the Hong Kong to London flight but there was 11 other people waiting for that as well so we were pretty much stuffed. We didn't get on that flight and had to wait another 8 hours for the next one. It was about 11pm so we did the 'sleep on the uncomfortable chairs in an airport' thing until about 6am. It was really great. I remember growling (literally) at some really rude people who started talking loudly near where we were sleeping - we were in one of those moods where anything could set us off and I was prepared for rippings...

Hong Kong airport is crazy. Absolutely massive place surrounded by really big, beautiful mountains. Everything inside was immaculate - although by this stage I was too delirious to really appreciate anything. The 711 there was quite amusing - really crazy flavours of food and drink. Solidified milk candy, anyone?

Cathay Pacific eventually informed us they could confirm one of our seats to London, but the other would have to be on Stand By. I told them I'd take the confirmed seat (of course) and we'd just cross our fingers for Bronek. We figured we should have some luck considering they could gaurantee at least one seat. As the time to board got nearer we realised there was no chance Bronek was going to get on as every single one of the 900 passengers boarding to London appeared to be checking in. Realising we really had no choice, we ran down to the other airlines looking for the next available plane to London - Air New Zealand had a flight in one hour for $700US. We paid for it and shoved Bronek on the plane, my plane left an hour later.

We met a very depressed German man who had missed his flight and was informed he wasn't going home until the following Thursday. Considering it was only Friday - we bid him good luck but went on our way. When I was about to board my plane, which was delayed, I was so ridiculously tired everything was blurry and distorted. I couldn't see properly; the carpet was swirling, I couldn't read any text and pretty much every human body was a silhoutte. It was at this point I realised I had probably slept about 5 hours since we missed our plane in Australia on Wednedsay night. The only thing keeping me awake was a) the fact I couldn't sleep anyway and b) adrenalin and my sense of adventure.

Anyways, we're in London now and have been here for 2 full days. We missed the first music festival in Belgium, but considering all the crap we have endured we really don't care. We're here now and that's all that matters.

We walked around London for a bit, didn't really do much of the Tourist stuff as we just had some time to kill. We watched the Soccer Final at a local pub, and that was a cracker. Pretty much everyone was going for Spain, so it was a crazy night.

We are catching a plane to Paris this afternoon and I'm trying to adopt the attitude that things can only get better from here.

Because it can't get any worse, right?

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:26:43 GMT

It's no secret that all I seem to be doing is whingeing about not taking any action in my life and watching it pass by. I'm stuck in this job/life through excuses which justify my anti-active stance on changing anything. Let's examine some of my excuses:

Saving up for my trip overseas
Saving up for moving overseas
Waiting for the housemate to move out before any real changes can occur
The economy
Lack of other jobs to apply for
Getting used to always having money
By having a job I am contributing to my career in the long-run
Experience
Jack of all trades; Master of none

Yadda yadda fucking yadda. Obviously the list goes on but I'm too annoyed to continue. This whole quarter-life crisis thing is not really pathetic any more - it's just plain boring.

I'm obviously going to stay in this job for a while yet
Only 6 months until my trip to Europe
Only a year until I move to Europe
Irrespective of the economy, I'm in a good-paying job

Bah - the focus on me is even boring today. For someone so egotistical and self-centered I can't believe I even find the topic of myself to be bothersome.

Actually, this blog is really beginning to shit me off.

Wants to be like...

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:19:41 GMT

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant